Self Care and Wings

Further into Swimming, we discover more information on not only the current situation of Mac’s life, but more about his feelings and emotions at the time surround the making of the album. The fifth track on Swimming is called Self Care, and is the lead single from the album. Since it’s release, it has amassed over 380 million streams on Spotify alone. It does become evident as to why Self Care is so popular from its first listen, as it can be classed into numerous genres, which all suit Mac’s general fanbase, as well as having that ever-present, yet unique touch that only he could provide to a song.

Self Care begins with an intriguing intro, initially leaving you wondering what direction the song is going to. It leads into the beat dropping for the first time and diving straight into the chorus and in the first verse is where we hear a clever use of wording once again, ‘Swear the height be too tall/So like September I fall’. So initially, Mac is talking about trying to climb over a wall, which is a metaphor for his addiction, and due to the height of the wall, he can’t make it over it and as a result, falls down back into the path he was on. The pronunciation of the word September makes it sound like Septimber, timber being a word that is usually shouted to alert people that a tree is about to fall. As well as this, September is one of the typical Autumnal months, which is Mac’s native America, is referred to as ‘Fall’. There is also a sad irony to this line, this being that Mac Miller actually lost his life in the month of September in 2018, which makes this line even more astounding when it’s really broken down and thought about.

Adding to the sad irony of this song, Self Care was also the last music video that Mac released before he passed, and in the video he is inside a coffin and trying to get out. I personally believe that him being buried under the ground symbolises his ongoing struggles, which he demonstrates he can break free from. In the video, he is clearly in a small, enclosed space with very little oxygen, and instead of panicking, he lights a cigarette and gives off a laid back feeling of confidence, that he’ll be able to get out. He also uses a small pocket knife to carve the words ‘Memento Mori’ which is Latin for ‘Remember you must die’, this became a lot more hard-hitting after his passing, all factors considered.

Throughout Self Care, Mac addresses his own emotions quite frequently. The beat for the first half of the song is very hip-hop centred, however just over halfway into Self Care, the beat completely switches more towards RnB, where the lyrics become instantly darker. The official title for the second part of Self Care is Oblivion, with the word being used heavily throughout, most notably with the lyrics ‘I was thinking too much/Got stuck in Oblivion’. It’s argued that to Mac, Oblivion is when he unaware of what’s going on around him, and he has got himself to this point though drinking and other vices that have caused him to detach himself from reality. This theory of becoming detached from reality is somewhat supported by the track’s outro, as it can be described as heavenly, fading out alongside the sound of a clock ticking, a reminder that despite being taken away from reality, time is still passing him by.

That ticking clock is carried into the beginning of Wings, which is the following song on Swimming. One of my own personal favourites, Wings has more of a laid back, relaxing feel to it, within the opening few seconds you can tell it is going to be a deep and meaningful one. The first line of Wings is ‘I got a bone to pick like roses/I ain’t feeling broken no more’ which can be looked into very deeply. Mac is addressing that he has a bone to pick with himself, pointing out his past wrongdoings and coming to terms with them. The mention of picking roses is because this is a metaphorical act that’s associated with coming to a point of realisation. This line also reiterates points made earlier in the album, stating how important it is to accept and love yourself. The fact that Mac ‘ain’t feeling broken no more’ states that he has now come to terms with his life and situations, and instead of wallowing in sadness and a state of depression, he has accepted it and is now beginning to move on with his life.

Due to the fact that he went through a lot of hard times and struggled through a long period, this being due to his breakup with Ariana Grande and battle with substance abuse, which led to a DUI in the Spring of 2018, it didn’t take a genius to discover that Mac was in a very dark place mentally. Wings is one of my personal favourite songs not only for its overall sound, but the fact that it’s based around Mac Miller finally coming to terms with the fact that his emotional scars have began to heal and he has moved on from the darkest time and parts of his life. This song is seen as a point of his life where he turns over a new leaf and is headed towards a brighter future.